By Radley West
Hello. It’s Tipsy.
I’ve been observing the neighborhood cats.
I have questions.
Every morning I see them. I wag my tail. I bounce a little. I even do my very best “I’m friendly.” hop.
And every single time they look at me like I just interrupted an important business meeting.
One of them sits on a fence and won’t even acknowledge my existence. Another slowly walks across the yard while making direct eye contact, as if to say, “You can’t catch me, and we both know it.”
The nerve.
I’ve tried everything.
I’ve barked politely.
I’ve barked enthusiastically.
I’ve crouched into the universal dog position that clearly means, “Let’s play.”
Nothing. They simply flick their tails and continue about their mysterious cat business.
Honestly, I don’t understand it.
The squirrels are terrified of me.
The delivery drivers know I’m keeping the neighborhood safe.
The neighbors wave when they see me.
Even the mailman seems happy to chat.
But the cats?
Complete snobs.
I’ve come to the conclusion that cats don’t actually want friends. They just want witnesses.
So, I’ll keep trying. Maybe one day they’ll realize I’m delightful.
Until then, I’ll continue my neighborhood security patrol, protect everyone from suspicious squirrels, and occasionally remind the cats that they’re welcome to join me whenever they’re ready to have some fun.
I’m not holding my breath.
Anyway, I need to go investigate why the wind moved that bush.
Seems suspicious.
— Tipsy
Radley West is married to Dr. Andrew West and together they own Anytime Fitness Lake Murray and 33/18 Chiropractic Associates. Radley is a gym owner and personal trainer with more than 20 years of experience helping people achieve non-traditional health goals. She and her team approach fitness by teaching clients to build better habits and create sustainable, feel-good fitness and nutrition routines—no need for intense six-pack aspirations (unless that’s your thing).
