By Radley West
Hello. It’s Tipsy. I’ve been observing the weather again.
Apparently, we’ve had “a lot of rain lately,” which the humans say with concern while staring out the window. Personally, I think it’s great. Everything smells richer and there are now exciting squishy areas that did not exist before.
Unfortunately, the humans are being very dramatic about it. You see, the humans recently relocated us into a new house. There is no grass here. When it rains, we get orange mud…which apparently I am not supposed to track into the house.
Every time I come inside, there’s suddenly an inspection process. I walk through the door and immediately hear things like, “Wait! Stop!” followed by everyone looking directly at my paws as if I’ve committed a crime.
For the record, I do not create mud. I simply interact with it.
The real problem is that humans have unrealistic expectations about outdoor conditions. If you take me outside after several days of rain, I am obviously going to conduct a full yard investigation. That is basic professionalism.
There are puddles to examine. Wet trees to monitor. Squirrels and racoons leaving suspicious footprints everywhere. The neighborhood security workload actually increases after rain.
Yet somehow I’m the problem.
The humans have now introduced what they call “paw wiping.” This involves me standing at the door while someone grabs a towel and lifts my feet one at a time, like I’m entering a very small spa against my will.
I tolerate this because I am patient.
What confuses me most is that the humans seem shocked every single time my paws are muddy. We have lived through rain before. This is not new information.
Also, I would like to point out that the humans themselves walk directly into the yard wearing shoes and somehow avoid criticism entirely. Interesting double standard there.
The rain has created other challenges too. Walks are slower because apparently I am “not supposed” to splash through puddles at full speed. The humans keep saying things like, “Tipsy, no!” while I’m simply trying to enjoy seasonal enrichment opportunities.
Despite these obstacles, I remain committed to my duties. The yard still needs supervision. The puddles still require inspection. The squirrels are certainly not taking rain days.
So yes, there may occasionally be muddy paw prints on the floor. But honestly, I think they add character to the house. Anyway, I need to go check on the puddles.
—Tipsy
Radley West is married to Dr. Andrew West and together they own Anytime Fitness Lake Murray and 33/18 Chiropractic Associates. Radley is a gym owner and personal trainer with more than 20 years of experience helping people achieve non-traditional health goals. She and her team approach fitness by teaching clients to build better habits and create sustainable, feel-good fitness and nutrition routines—no need for intense six-pack aspirations (unless that’s your thing).
